We are familiar with the phrase ‘Living my best life’ which means something different to each of us. I get questioned quite a lot especially by young females who usually ask me what I feel is best to do first, pursue a career or start a family.
I am not an expert or councillor and can only speak of my experience and that of others. I’ve always known that I one day would love to have kids in my mid-late twenties and when I turned thirty. I never aimed to be at a certain level in my career before I start having kids.
I have always had a positive attitude to life and what it brings in general. So, what I tell people female or male, you need to be confident in who you are as a person. If you are still finding yourself, not knowing what you want to do with your life, have issues with finance or aren’t even independent then I guess you aren’t ready for a baby. A lot of people think you need to have a certain amount you should be earning before thinking to have a baby, but I feel it’s not how much you earn, but it’s how well can you look after your child with what you earn/have presently. Are you always thinking of how to increase your income regardless of whether there’s a kid or not? It’s your mind-set that will determine whether you are ready for a baby. I believe everyone should find their purpose in life, know what you want to do or become, if all you do is sit around, and are waiting for hand me downs then when you have your baby you may never have a great career because you settled and never continued to push yourself further.
Since having my boys, I can say I have never worked so much and so hard in my life. They have given me this extra push to do more to reach my career goals. They brought business ideas that I probably wouldn’t have thought of if I never had them. But I had to have had a vision or goals for myself even before concluding which career path I wanted to take or when I decide to have kids.
If your personality and attitude towards life is not at a steady level, then it’s best not to even pursue a career talk less having kids just yet. Your attitude could also affect the things you do if you don’t get rid of any negative attitudes.
Don’t let others past experiences make you feel yours will be the same. There are a lot of different factors to consider when making this decision. What’s the most important thing for you?
I believe ‘With God nothing is impossible’. If my dream is to travel around the world, I can, with my kids. I honestly get more excited at the fact that they are experiencing the world with their parents, something I wished we did more of with my parents growing up. If I’m the best at what I do I guarantee you the world will follow my schedule.
If you do decide to have kids and have not yet reached the level you had hoped to be at before having them, keep working hard, be organised so that you have time for both. Discuss the decision whether not to or to have kids with your husband. Ladies it’s not just our choice lol. No one knowns how long it will take to reach any career goals. Living my best life to me is, doing what I feel is best for me at that time.