There are so many motivational speakers out there who keep saying ‘love yourself first, it’s okay to be single….’

Before I decided to let love in, I use to get annoyed hearing people telling me to love myself. Stop telling me to love myself! Did I tell you I hate myself? I looked after myself, got my hair done, nails did, bought new outfits, had nice bubble baths, basically I looked good all the time. I thought love was a fairy tale and settled in university and got my heart broken. That hurt me bad and left me in pain. For the first time ever, I didn’t really understand what self-love is. I didn’t know my worth, if I did I wouldn’t have settled for anything less than I could offer.


It took some time to get to where I am today, but I learnt to upset others, not in a cruel way. I looked out for myself even if it upset other people. I found it very hard to express myself, and always wrote down how I felt. But I had to learn to express myself freely and not feel guilty about feeling the way that I did.

One of the biggest and most important thing that happened to me was finding God and building a relationship with him. All the pain, shame, depression heart ache etc. I was feeling, he took away and replaced it with his love. I then read the bible and learnt how I to could be bold, brave, confident, loved, blessed and many other things I could be by reading about great people in the bible.

Self-love is not revisiting the pass, its learning from our mistakes and doing better in life. Its looking after our wellbeing because we only have one life, so I should treat it with respect.  I had to stop blaming my parents for not teaching me to self-love and just own my past experiences. Self-love is building my character, so I will be able to love and accept others.

If you think being single is a curse, please think again. it’s the best stage of our lives where we get the chance to work on ourselves to be ready to accept the love of another person. Because ‘forever till death do us part’, is what we’re working towards and we both have to be ready to go on that journey.




  1. Remi
    February 15, 2018 / 00:45

    Love this!!! So well said…so well said

  2. Linda amara
    February 15, 2018 / 16:19

    Thank you very much MA I actually became frustrated with life when my ex left me I have been faithful and loving but at the same time he keeps telling me to love myself I love myself ,but when he left I looked so down on myself like am not worth his type is true he helps me officially and educational part but he made me a slave to him but I still miss him I just ask God for the grace to pull through these difficulties thank you so much for your words

  3. mm February 15, 2018 / 21:33

    I can so relate. Surround yourself with people who love you and occupy your time do things you love x

  4. Khafi
    February 16, 2018 / 09:57

    Aw this was beautiful and I love the definition of self love as “building my character, so I will be able to love and accept others.” I really like that.

  5. mm February 18, 2018 / 22:26

    Thanks Kafi for the feedback x

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